There's Always One More Thing
I am so extremely grateful for my eldest’s never ending patience and grace with me. Most days, there is always one more thing.
Sometimes, it’s “Hold on while I feed your brother.” Other times it’s “Let me just do this and then I’ll get to you.” And then there’s another thing. And another.
And so she waits. Patiently playing with her toys, independent as ever.
Most times, mom guilt sets in. I watch or listen to her play while I finish whatever it is I’m doing, and I feel guilty that I can’t be everywhere at the same time. Guilty that I sometimes have to prioritize certain things, and most of the time that means she has to wait.
Sometimes I forget. I finish what I’m doing and I go to move on the next thing needing my attention.
Inquisitively, she’ll say, “What are you doing, Mommy?”
I’ll look at her with a small smile, frantically trying to remember. “What am I supposed to be doing?”‘
And she’ll remind me. Sometimes it’s gently, sometimes it’s with a whine. The whine is usually after she’s been waiting. She’s three, after all, and can only be patient for so long.
I always thank her for waiting. For being so patient with me. I tell her how amazing she is and how lucky I am to have her. Because I am.
There are days when she has a lot of my attention. Maybe her brother isn’t so cranky that day, or maybe it’s a day that I can handle everything coming my way. Daddy’s home from work and there’s two of us, more attention to be divided and shared.
There will be a day when she isn’t asking me to play with her constantly. A day where I’m not trying to juggle 300 things all at once. And I know I’m going to miss all of those “Mommy mommy mommy!”s.
So for now, there is always going to be one more thing. But every night when I tuck her in, there’s always still, “I love you too, Mommy.”